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Whitewash in Season Opener

Touchers show their class

After walking from the field after Grand Final glory in 2011. Chairman Ballo knew the task of keeping the core of his team together would be the battle of his life.

 Challenge accepted !!!!

 For the crowd to turn up to the 2012 season opener and see the likes of the VC, Big Bad Brett, Jonty, Faz, Bill, Bob The Builder, the Chairman himself and yours truly re-take the field was a dream come true and they were rewarded with their loyalty.

 While the team took the paddock without Milton, The Locksmith and the Phantom all on overseas commissions, the early entry for 'Buy of the Year' delivered a double try effort on debut.

 During the off-season the Vice Captain recruited a kiwi international, who for the last time will be called Bernie. Forthwith he shall be called KIWI. His constant driving through the middle of the paddock brought joy to the group and a constant headache to the opposition. When offered nicknames of Richie McCaw and Buck Shelford, Kiwi advised that such an honour was too much to accept. Such humility will be accepted within this playing group.

 The victims in this storm threatening night were new to the competition and were simply, lambs to the slaughter. An opening try down the far right side from Bill set the tone and it was down that right hand edge that the Chairman directed the troops.

A treble of try's to Big Bad Brett re-confirmed his status in the game and multiple try efforts to Jonty, The Chairman, Vice Captain, Bill and myself supported his supreme effort.

Bob the Builder was grateful for the try he was gifted and by crossing the stripe he is now off the end of season nude run. The same cannot be said for Faz, whose late appearance to the ground due to reasons yet to be advised was punished with a 0 try effort on a night that saw the group lining up for their runs with white line fever.

A special mention must go to Bill on his efforts earlier in the day to lead the girls Under 10's to their first victory in 2 years. I propose that Bill be named 'Supercoach' from this point forward. Is there support for this motion?

The seasons first awards for players player was a shock. Taking out 2nd and 3rd picks were Big Bad Brett and Kiwi. But humbly accepting the award with 17 player points was this little black duck. 

This great honor that was bestowed on me by the playing group was unexpected and I must thank my sponsors Twitter, Tony Ferguson diet shakes, Pringles Chips and XXXX Gold for their ongoing support.

 To be compared by some of having the acceleration of a Formula 1 is grateful. Until it was the 41 year old,  1971 Formula 1 Tyrrell powered machine of world champion Jackie Stewart I found that I was being compared to. Some people are just nasty I believe !!!!

The Chairman when describing one the try's, stated that the incisive run through the middle of the park to run away and score was liking a shark to smelling blood in the water and attacking his prey. His words....not mine....I can only quote the facts !!!!

 I believe I would be not performing the duty of an incisive sports commentator if I wasn't to mention Harro and his lack of attendance without notice. Whilst the big man is diagnosed with a debilitating knee injury I can report that the injury was exacerbated when he lept from the couch at the final siren of the AFL Grand Final.

Evidence of this can be watched here. Just notice at about 25 seconds you see him just grab for his knee. Its at this exact moment season 2012 may have been done and dusted for Harro.

Apologies for next week have been received from Big Bad Brett and Bob The Builder as they travel far and wide in search of various player improvement techniques. Which means that next Thursday we play with 7. Challenge accepted !!!

 BREAKING NEWS

 The Chairman called in just before going to print that the Overtouchers do not sit high aloft at the top of the table. Another bunch took their opponents to the sword and won 16-0.

 So fellow Touchers the job is not done.

Yours in humble acceptance

Full Metal


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