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A Tough night for Touchers

New boys shine in hard fought encounter


After hearing of the 16-0 demolition in week one, last nights opponents of the Overtouchers failed to show up for their turn. So the Touch Football Commission [TFC] chose to entertain the crowds with an exhibition game which saw the Touchers take on Teenagers.

The premiers went down 6 to 4 but they were not disgraced. 

On the rock hard ground the two time premiership defending unit had two players see their first outing for 2012.

Big Man Milton brought along Teenage sensation Justin Bieber. Bieber came off a season ending knee injury to provide the Touchers with a lower median age classification.

Their effect was immediate as they tore the youngsters left hand edge apart. With smooth precision Bieber inserted Milton into the gap. However, as the Big Man took off for the line he was shot by a sniper in the crowd and he came crashing to the ground like a wilderbeast in the High Veldt of Africa.

Or so it seemed.....

However, moments later retribution was achieved and the dynamic duo replayed that move and Milton scored his opening try of season 2012.

Faz, also scored his first try of the new season earlier in the game. His smile stretched across his face as he realised he was off the end of season nude run.


Article 4.76 of the players code: "...registered players who do not score a try in either the regular season or the finals series must complete one lap of the playing field naked as a jay bird at the season presentation day formerly known as Mad Monday"

Later in the game Faz was struck down with what the Touchers officials hope is not a season ending injury. Our thoughts and prayers are with him. I have heard that Foo Fighters front man, the Grollster, long time advocate of Faz's work, is on his way to Faz's bedside post surgery.

Key players took niggling injuries into the game. The Chairman played another prodigious game with an arm guard comparable in size with former Queensland great Mal Meniga's arm guard after 3 broken arms late in his career. Along with VC's knee bandage that was cobbled together by the same man who strapped up the little masters, 'Clive Churchill', knee in the 1955 Grand Final. Like back in '55 the VC's bandage was more for show than support.

But the man of steel last night was Supercoach Bill. Dragging himself out of Mona Vale Hospital where he was being treated for a torn ligament in his neck. He lead the team in the game of his life. His coverage in defence was a supreme display of toughness and grit.

The Chairman thought that it was a last minute massage that allowed him to perform. However, I felt that comment was bordering on being inappropriate.

Kiwi and Jonty plied their trade like the professionals they are and provide a strong effort in the clash.

The second half score was 2-1 to the old guys but it was their last try that was the highlight. It was again down that left hand side were the elderly statesmen attacked. The silky passing from Full Metal to Supercoach Bill along to the VC, saw Kiwi crash over for the try of the match.

This was what the crowd came to see and they were again rewarded. 

Yes the premiers remain undefeated in their age classification but its in these exhibition games that the Touchers want to show their class against these kids more than half their age younger.

That day will come.

Next week the Touchers see Bob The Builder and Big Bad Brett back from their assignments interstate and offshore. Full reports are expected from each of them.

In closing I feel I must make mention of the retirement of Harro. It feels like  I have written his retirement notice before and he is close to having more retirement farewells than Dame Nelly Melba. 

But its with a heavy heart that through investigative journalism techniques, that I have found out that despite his life threatening knee injury...or so you would be lead to believe...that Harro is now playing AFL. Some how I feel we have been betrayed.

Yours in Overtouching

Full Metal

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