All good corporations have road maps for succession plans and the Toucher's are no different.
With the average age of the mighty team getting higher with each day, the sub committee for Growth and Development approved the signing of a new Toucher, RAMI late on Thursday afternoon. I wanted to name him Rookie but the great Rocket has that name in his portfolio despite him being a key member of the team for 6 years.
The playing roster was depleted last night, making the new signing brilliant timing.
The following were away for different reasons;
Scorpion/Sponsor/DG was in far North Queensland again feeding at the trough of corporate indulgence
Rocket/Rookie/Leftie/ was away on assignment and wouldn't tell us were.
Smith/Legsy was at home with Meningococcal, Ebola and a runny nose
R. Plummer the greatest A Grade player of all time was in traction in North Shore Hospital with a hurty back
BBB was of trekking to the base camp of Mt Kosciusko. Shouldn't be too hard as its a concrete track to the summit of the whole thing.
So with all that we were left with a 8.5 players.
.5 I hear you ask from across the cyber link that presents this text onto your chosen device. I'll explain that a little later in the show.
Those who showed the dedication to be a Toucher last night were, The Chairman, SuperCoach Bill, Jonty, Bulldog, Muzz, G Plummer, new boy RAMI and myself. With the VC that .5 arriving just on halftime.
The opposing team looked impressive in their fire engine red shirts and had two wins from their first 3 games. They had a for an against record of 14 tries to 4. After seeing them play last night, f--k knows how they scored 14. Because the only try the scored was after the ref allowed a try after Bulldog clearly touched the other guy as he darted through the line. The reason we know he was touched was because Bulldog stood there holding the guys Size 10 Adidas in his hand.
The game was the toughest challenge so far though and we went into the break huffing and puffing at just 3-1 up. There was one try were the ball must have gone through all 7 sets of hands and from one side to the other. It was one of our best.
However, in the first half on of the teams legends again broke down as he dove head first to the try line and in the process had his knee smashed by his opponent after the try was scored. He limped from the field and was assessed by The Chairman's brother who was our on call physician for the night. After a thorough assessment of the damage he stated proudly 'You'll be right mate, get back out there'. Jonty played the rest of the game in true Touching style.
Soon after our .5 [half a game] player turned up. The VC approached the field with the strut of a Matador. He sensed things were on edge. He must have heard Muzz, me and Billy tell the other guys to have [---] with themselves.
The VC took the field just before halftime and immediately forgot that he was no longer 'encouraged' to run from dummy half.
BUT......
This evening the game needed something different. We were struggling due to those who had abandoned us for their own selfish reasons. The Toucher's needed field position. Sort of like kicking into the corner on the last tackle.
So at half time The Chairman, Billy and I held a very short meeting and declared that "YES VC'. 'you are allowed to run from dummy half for one night only'. 'Get us down the field.
Well, it was like telling an 18 year old that he can pour his own beers behind the bar at the Steyne Hotel in Manly. He lit up like a Christmas Tree and flew onto the pitch for the second half.
The first set of the second half was 10 out of 10. We handed the ball over right on their goal line and that turned the match there and then. The fire engine red shirts were drooping like a rose on a hot sweaty summers day.
We hit their left defence and ran in two quick try's off the back of some great ball skills. It's surprising how much muscle memory works in the simple task of catch and pace at speed [well at our age its considered relative speed].
Just a quick note in regards to ball skills, I may not show many for some time after the grey haired head of a red t-shirter was driven straight into my happy place. Hitting the ground immediately and waiting for the delayed pain that is given to us males when hit in that region, I feared the worse. Alas, I counted them and they were both still there. I am trying to find a way to explain this to my long suffering wife. I expect the questions asked of me will be something like:
"His head went were?", "How did his head get there?' her arms crossed and her lovely foot tapping, expecting a quick answer.
I sense quieter nights are ahead for me !!!!
Muzz followed his brothers lead of giving the other team the sh-ts. He has learned from the best and I did see at one point Billy stand and watch Muzz go at them. I said to Billy "Are you crying [with pride] ?", "F--k off Full Metal, its allergies".
Bulldog had a great time last night. He covered every inch of the field and with BBB away and VC only playing the second half mostly, he had the sole role of chasing down those who penetrated the line. Their weren't many but those that did, didn't get very far.
G Plummer revelled in the absence of his brother with the hurty back. His presence on that right edge lead us to try's in the second half that shut the game down.
It was fun to see the Chairman break the duck and score his first try. He as a little upset that he had to run so far to do it and alongside the duck, he almost also broke his coccyx as he fell across the line.
To get Man of the Match on your debut has only happened once before by a Toucher, Rocket. Which intern gave him his first nickname, Rookie. RAMI's debut was the stuff of legends and was a surprise to none of the members in the recruitment sub committee.
The strategy to bring in new younger blood means the Toucher's will live long after we attend these games in our custom made zimmer frames.
In closing I just received a note from Jonty from inside his hyperbaric chamber, he is settling in well and is watching all 9 series of Friends.
The VC has also been texting me, pleading that he be allowed to run from dummy half again. 'Once and one time only' was the message I sent back in Upper case font and !!!!!! marks.
Yours in my seat with a bag of ice on my happy place.
FMJ
Sorry did I say we won 7-1 ????? UNDEAFEATED
Equal first on points with a 26 / 6 For and Against. With the other undefeated team on 27/10
With the average age of the mighty team getting higher with each day, the sub committee for Growth and Development approved the signing of a new Toucher, RAMI late on Thursday afternoon. I wanted to name him Rookie but the great Rocket has that name in his portfolio despite him being a key member of the team for 6 years.
The playing roster was depleted last night, making the new signing brilliant timing.
The following were away for different reasons;
Scorpion/Sponsor/DG was in far North Queensland again feeding at the trough of corporate indulgence
Rocket/Rookie/Leftie/ was away on assignment and wouldn't tell us were.
Smith/Legsy was at home with Meningococcal, Ebola and a runny nose
R. Plummer the greatest A Grade player of all time was in traction in North Shore Hospital with a hurty back
BBB was of trekking to the base camp of Mt Kosciusko. Shouldn't be too hard as its a concrete track to the summit of the whole thing.
So with all that we were left with a 8.5 players.
.5 I hear you ask from across the cyber link that presents this text onto your chosen device. I'll explain that a little later in the show.
Those who showed the dedication to be a Toucher last night were, The Chairman, SuperCoach Bill, Jonty, Bulldog, Muzz, G Plummer, new boy RAMI and myself. With the VC that .5 arriving just on halftime.
The opposing team looked impressive in their fire engine red shirts and had two wins from their first 3 games. They had a for an against record of 14 tries to 4. After seeing them play last night, f--k knows how they scored 14. Because the only try the scored was after the ref allowed a try after Bulldog clearly touched the other guy as he darted through the line. The reason we know he was touched was because Bulldog stood there holding the guys Size 10 Adidas in his hand.
The game was the toughest challenge so far though and we went into the break huffing and puffing at just 3-1 up. There was one try were the ball must have gone through all 7 sets of hands and from one side to the other. It was one of our best.
However, in the first half on of the teams legends again broke down as he dove head first to the try line and in the process had his knee smashed by his opponent after the try was scored. He limped from the field and was assessed by The Chairman's brother who was our on call physician for the night. After a thorough assessment of the damage he stated proudly 'You'll be right mate, get back out there'. Jonty played the rest of the game in true Touching style.
Soon after our .5 [half a game] player turned up. The VC approached the field with the strut of a Matador. He sensed things were on edge. He must have heard Muzz, me and Billy tell the other guys to have [---] with themselves.
The VC took the field just before halftime and immediately forgot that he was no longer 'encouraged' to run from dummy half.
BUT......
This evening the game needed something different. We were struggling due to those who had abandoned us for their own selfish reasons. The Toucher's needed field position. Sort of like kicking into the corner on the last tackle.
So at half time The Chairman, Billy and I held a very short meeting and declared that "YES VC'. 'you are allowed to run from dummy half for one night only'. 'Get us down the field.
Well, it was like telling an 18 year old that he can pour his own beers behind the bar at the Steyne Hotel in Manly. He lit up like a Christmas Tree and flew onto the pitch for the second half.
The first set of the second half was 10 out of 10. We handed the ball over right on their goal line and that turned the match there and then. The fire engine red shirts were drooping like a rose on a hot sweaty summers day.
We hit their left defence and ran in two quick try's off the back of some great ball skills. It's surprising how much muscle memory works in the simple task of catch and pace at speed [well at our age its considered relative speed].
Just a quick note in regards to ball skills, I may not show many for some time after the grey haired head of a red t-shirter was driven straight into my happy place. Hitting the ground immediately and waiting for the delayed pain that is given to us males when hit in that region, I feared the worse. Alas, I counted them and they were both still there. I am trying to find a way to explain this to my long suffering wife. I expect the questions asked of me will be something like:
"His head went were?", "How did his head get there?' her arms crossed and her lovely foot tapping, expecting a quick answer.
I sense quieter nights are ahead for me !!!!
Muzz followed his brothers lead of giving the other team the sh-ts. He has learned from the best and I did see at one point Billy stand and watch Muzz go at them. I said to Billy "Are you crying [with pride] ?", "F--k off Full Metal, its allergies".
Bulldog had a great time last night. He covered every inch of the field and with BBB away and VC only playing the second half mostly, he had the sole role of chasing down those who penetrated the line. Their weren't many but those that did, didn't get very far.
G Plummer revelled in the absence of his brother with the hurty back. His presence on that right edge lead us to try's in the second half that shut the game down.
It was fun to see the Chairman break the duck and score his first try. He as a little upset that he had to run so far to do it and alongside the duck, he almost also broke his coccyx as he fell across the line.
To get Man of the Match on your debut has only happened once before by a Toucher, Rocket. Which intern gave him his first nickname, Rookie. RAMI's debut was the stuff of legends and was a surprise to none of the members in the recruitment sub committee.
The strategy to bring in new younger blood means the Toucher's will live long after we attend these games in our custom made zimmer frames.
In closing I just received a note from Jonty from inside his hyperbaric chamber, he is settling in well and is watching all 9 series of Friends.
The VC has also been texting me, pleading that he be allowed to run from dummy half again. 'Once and one time only' was the message I sent back in Upper case font and !!!!!! marks.
Yours in my seat with a bag of ice on my happy place.
FMJ
Sorry did I say we won 7-1 ????? UNDEAFEATED
Equal first on points with a 26 / 6 For and Against. With the other undefeated team on 27/10
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