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Blue collar performance from Touchers


Chairman marshal's his troops

On the back of another hot windy Spring day the two time premiership champions, The Overtouchers, ground out another blue collar effort against an outfit desperate for its first win of the season. The opposition were not to be awarded such an honour against the might of the mountain men from Terrey Hills as the champions won 9 -1.

The Touchers roared out of the gates and quickly set the tone. It was a tactic the Chairman called for as they went into the game without four of their fellow Touchers. Supercoach Bill was on assignment in Far North Queensland. Faz's has leg has not responded to the TLC from the Grolly man of The Foo'ies. Faz is considered a week to week proposition. 

The Kiwi, after last weeks injury has been diagnosed with 4 x 2 cm tear of the calf and we bid farewell to season 2012 for the big man and Harro who still retains the honour of a mention in retirement for the 2012 season...only. More on that later in the bulletin.

Multiple tries to Bob The Builder, Big Bad Brett saw them fight out the man of the match awards again this week, with BBB taking the newly announced trophy, a bottle opener with is brilliant performance.

These two warriors have taken on the task of filling the void of the VC's early season leg injury and his ongoing indiscretions. Despite FMJ getting the first weeks Man of the Match, its clear to all that Bob and BBB will fight out the 2012 season player awards. There is obviously no second season curse for these guys.

With the depleted player ranks the Club again called on the Bulldog to help the Touchers. The Bulldog has been a hero in past finals series and is still looking for the permanent role. However, you feel that he also enjoys the glory of being a mercenary to tournaments across the globe. I am informed that he is working under the guidance of former Bulldog Sonny $$$$ Williams.

The Touchers welcomed back Milton from his overseas research mission where he studied the game in the Asian market under the direction of the board.As the Board wishes to launch a club franchise based out of Singapore. Also back from assignment in the US was the Locksmith. Who declared that he crossed the land of Obama eating his body weight in Chilli Cheese Fries; that was not under the direction of the Board.

However, on his return to the team its with a heavy heart the massive crowd saw Milton succumb to the soft tissue curse of 2012. His hamstring would not let him go the distance last night. The club hopes he can recover quickly for the back half of the season in time for the finals. It was a sad vision as we saw the Biebster carry the big man to his car straight after the game. Milton will see the specialist today where they will see how bad the injury is or check for a touch of gout !!!!

The Locksmith, despite carrying a few, was running like a crazed spider and scored a try in his first game back and we are happy to report that he kept his temper in check !!!!

Jonty just improves week to week and despite the Chairman bringing 5 metres of electrical tape to secure Jonty's torn boots, the mad Rabbit had gone out last week and secured a new private sponsor in Nike. Securing a 3 year contract with a 1 year option in his favour, Jonty was very happy with his new pair of Nike CTR360's last night.


The VC returned to the game in the only way he knows and and delivered a lively performance despite the restrictions that he is being held to by the Board.

After 4 rounds the the official table leaders are Rays Rejects and the South African team who  are 4 from 4. After losing in the match to the teenagers, the official table sees the Touchers with 3 wins and a loss. The Chairman has been given direction from the board to put a motion to the tournament committee to have that game classified a forfeit and give the Touchers back their unbeaten record.

On a positive note it is official that the Touchers are the best attacking team in the league with 37 tries. A testament to the recruitment of speed out wide.

At the after match presentations and board meeting there was vigorous debate with both motions from VC not carried.

His first was a request for an appeal to his ban of receiving man of the match points for 4 weeks. This appeal comes after he accepted the early guilty plea. The club constitution will be reviewed by the rules sub-committee chaired by Supercoach Bill as we know his great attention to detail will deliver clear guidance.

The second failed motion was a request for some sort of penalty for the Chairman in regards to information that he had played the game of the Mexican, AFL, last Monday evening. On the grounds of damaging the club, the VC went to the board in vigor but failed. What is more concerning was that the Chairman played THAT game with Harro who earlier this year had declared himself in such a state that he could barely walk.

Yours in vigorous debate

Full Metal

NOTE: In closing I just want to provide some useless information that I am sure nobody cares about but I feel some may feel very important that I mention; the one try scored against the Touchers was caused by my white line fever in going for an intercept and not securing the touch. See, it was hardly worth mentioning.

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