After much nashing of teeth and demands the match report was written 38,000 feet above sea level as I whisk my way to Mauritius for the bi-annual front rowers conference. Halfbacks and wingers are not allowed to attend.
Coming off the back of their first loss in their age group, the Overtouchers responded this week in the only way they know how and put together a complete performance to win 5-0.
The lockout was helped by the fact that The Chairman and the VC had recruited fresh meat with injury clouds hanging over the team. With 12 players in attendence the defending premiers were able to sub players on and off at will.
New members, Sniper, who got off a nude run and scored in his season 2012 debut and [B&D] Roller Door became the 15th and 16th players to pull on the gun metal grey game day shirts.
Once again the Touchers went into the clash without Harro, lost to another game. Milt complications onset from prolonged period of Gout. Kiwi who was cut down in his prime, but more on that later in the bulletin. Faz who seems to have left the Touchers for his one true love, Foo Fighters frontman, the Groll-mister [pronounced: groll-my-ster].
Flying Jonty kept his 100% playing record in 2012 after passing a searching fitness test under the direction from The Chairman. If only Wayne Pearce's fitness test to make the 96' Kangaroo tour was as easy. To those who don't know, Pearcy was doing run throughs when he stepped in a small hole in the ground which the DR's thought was his knee going and ruled him out. A tragedy.
The game started without an official which kept the opponents in the game for longer than they should have. The Touchers were 'touchy' and poor handling and some internal bickering was not helping the cause. It was very clear to all that the core unit had not overcome last weeks demoralising loss.
More than half way through the opening stanza, The Chairman opened the scoring with a sneaky try close to the line. A sigh of relief wafted through the Touchers like the sweet pungent smell of the Kebab King takeaway shop across the corso from The Steyne Hotel at 3am on a hot Sunday morning.
The floodgates threatened to open but the Touchers did not lose their heads.
Strong defence from Bob The Builder, formerly known as the Rookie, kept the line intact. He really seems to be coming along in season 2 of his career and the Board has been noticing with his impending contract negotiations for season 2013 about to start.
The VC went against the game plan and scooted many many times from from dummy half, much to the chagrin of his team mates, well mainly me to be blunt. At the back end of the game the VC once again burst out of dummy half like a startled gazelle and found himself alone with the line still 30 metres away. With the ruling that dummy half cannot score, the VC had himself in a pickle. However, his butt was saved when the mighty Bulldog loomed up alongside and positioned himself nicely for the VC's pass. It hit him right in the bread basket as he sped away to the line to score another try.
'How did you like that one Full Metal' the VC screamed as the try was scored. The VC felt he had proven his point that the dummy half scoot is still a valuable part the Touchers repertoire.
Supercoach Bill who had earlier in the day led the young girls to a 5-0 victory kept his mojo throughout the game and delivered a 5 star performance once again.
But it was the Locksmith who would deny Big Bad Brett his 3rd players player award in a row. We all know the the Locksmith channels dual international and former Parramatta hard man, Mr Perpetual motion, Ray Price. But his performance on game night even surprised himself when he was awarded the bottle opener trophy, still in its original packaging.
By winning the players player award the Locksmith denied BBB from locking up the season award. Having won 3 times, He needs only one more award to block out Bob The Builder who is on 2 and the others who are one 1 with two weeks to go.
In general business there has been sightings of the Kiwi back running the streets of Terrey Hills. It can be reported that he will seek approval to attempt The Chairman's infamous game day fitness test in bid to play in the final regular season game.
Supercoach Bill will be hauled before the Board and explain why he failed to supply refreshments at the post game function. Strike two Supercoach.
In further team news, The Chairman and Supercoach Bill will be signing autographs today at the opening of the BCF store across the road from the Supercentre at Belrose. There will be a sausage sizzle and fairly floss for the kids as the two men perform a sponsors commitment. The Chairman will be showing anyone who cares his favourite squidgy for flat head fishing. We suggest those who are easily offended look the other way.
In late breaking news it is being reported that a founding member of the Touchers is set to announce his retirement from the game at the end of the season. Danny Wielder is hitting the pavements to try and find out who it is.
Yours in ground breaking reporting
FMJ
Coming off the back of their first loss in their age group, the Overtouchers responded this week in the only way they know how and put together a complete performance to win 5-0.
The lockout was helped by the fact that The Chairman and the VC had recruited fresh meat with injury clouds hanging over the team. With 12 players in attendence the defending premiers were able to sub players on and off at will.
New members, Sniper, who got off a nude run and scored in his season 2012 debut and [B&D] Roller Door became the 15th and 16th players to pull on the gun metal grey game day shirts.
Once again the Touchers went into the clash without Harro, lost to another game. Milt complications onset from prolonged period of Gout. Kiwi who was cut down in his prime, but more on that later in the bulletin. Faz who seems to have left the Touchers for his one true love, Foo Fighters frontman, the Groll-mister [pronounced: groll-my-ster].
Flying Jonty kept his 100% playing record in 2012 after passing a searching fitness test under the direction from The Chairman. If only Wayne Pearce's fitness test to make the 96' Kangaroo tour was as easy. To those who don't know, Pearcy was doing run throughs when he stepped in a small hole in the ground which the DR's thought was his knee going and ruled him out. A tragedy.
The game started without an official which kept the opponents in the game for longer than they should have. The Touchers were 'touchy' and poor handling and some internal bickering was not helping the cause. It was very clear to all that the core unit had not overcome last weeks demoralising loss.
More than half way through the opening stanza, The Chairman opened the scoring with a sneaky try close to the line. A sigh of relief wafted through the Touchers like the sweet pungent smell of the Kebab King takeaway shop across the corso from The Steyne Hotel at 3am on a hot Sunday morning.
The floodgates threatened to open but the Touchers did not lose their heads.
Strong defence from Bob The Builder, formerly known as the Rookie, kept the line intact. He really seems to be coming along in season 2 of his career and the Board has been noticing with his impending contract negotiations for season 2013 about to start.
The VC went against the game plan and scooted many many times from from dummy half, much to the chagrin of his team mates, well mainly me to be blunt. At the back end of the game the VC once again burst out of dummy half like a startled gazelle and found himself alone with the line still 30 metres away. With the ruling that dummy half cannot score, the VC had himself in a pickle. However, his butt was saved when the mighty Bulldog loomed up alongside and positioned himself nicely for the VC's pass. It hit him right in the bread basket as he sped away to the line to score another try.
'How did you like that one Full Metal' the VC screamed as the try was scored. The VC felt he had proven his point that the dummy half scoot is still a valuable part the Touchers repertoire.
Supercoach Bill who had earlier in the day led the young girls to a 5-0 victory kept his mojo throughout the game and delivered a 5 star performance once again.
But it was the Locksmith who would deny Big Bad Brett his 3rd players player award in a row. We all know the the Locksmith channels dual international and former Parramatta hard man, Mr Perpetual motion, Ray Price. But his performance on game night even surprised himself when he was awarded the bottle opener trophy, still in its original packaging.
By winning the players player award the Locksmith denied BBB from locking up the season award. Having won 3 times, He needs only one more award to block out Bob The Builder who is on 2 and the others who are one 1 with two weeks to go.
In general business there has been sightings of the Kiwi back running the streets of Terrey Hills. It can be reported that he will seek approval to attempt The Chairman's infamous game day fitness test in bid to play in the final regular season game.
Supercoach Bill will be hauled before the Board and explain why he failed to supply refreshments at the post game function. Strike two Supercoach.
In further team news, The Chairman and Supercoach Bill will be signing autographs today at the opening of the BCF store across the road from the Supercentre at Belrose. There will be a sausage sizzle and fairly floss for the kids as the two men perform a sponsors commitment. The Chairman will be showing anyone who cares his favourite squidgy for flat head fishing. We suggest those who are easily offended look the other way.
In late breaking news it is being reported that a founding member of the Touchers is set to announce his retirement from the game at the end of the season. Danny Wielder is hitting the pavements to try and find out who it is.
Yours in ground breaking reporting
FMJ
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