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Now Trading as: Monster Mountain Men

Editor's Note

 With the season kicking off with a 14-2 loss, this author didn't have the inspiration for match reports. 

Maybe it was a lack of good material, maybe the concern that I'd run out of the stories that brought upon me rave reviews and offers of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Maybe it was just depleting testosterone levels. Who knows. 

But after reviewing the terms of reference of the corporation I am obliged to at worst make a token effort. So under duress please see these modest words below for this weeks match report. 
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Artist formerly known as OverTouchers

Neil Young sang 'Comes a Time' way back in 1978 from the album of the same name. The lyrics spoke of realisation of your path in life

Comes a time
when you're driftin'
Comes a time
when you settle down
Comes a light
feelin's liftin'
Lift that baby
right up off the ground

Well many Touchers at the final whistle in the Grand Final loss to the young bucks back in February felt like this. They felt like they were drifting and that in their ripe old age that maybe it was time to call it a day on their Touching journey.

But then there came the light that lifted these fit, strong legs right up off the ground.

Born out of a couple of blokes running 3km's through the fire trails on Saturday mornings, the Mountain Men were formed. Two runners became 3, then 4, then 5......then back to 4; they started running too far and I was the fat kid at the back and promptly stood down as a runner but forever will be a founding member.

That running group now punches out plus 10km runs and has a list of around 10 runners.

As most ideas do, the post run coffee shop percolated [see what I did there???? Locksmith, explain it to the VC as I don't think he will get it] an idea that maybe we are not a TOUCH team anymore. That we are now Mountain Men and that OZTAG should be our next world to conquer.

A *Quorum was agreed and the Monster Mountain Men were approved 9 votes to 1 to enter the Saint Ives Oz Tag competition. 

[again for the VC]

 *A quorum is the minimum number of members of a deliberative assembly (a body that uses parliamentary procedure, such as a legislature) necessary to conduct the business of that group. 

The Chairman promptly left the shop and called his lawyer and immediately incorporated the Mountain Men into the OverTouchers Corporation.

OzTag to many is seen as the devil's game. It's a very different style of play but to this writer a more enjoyable experience. 

But whilst it is a different game some things remain the same. BBB, Jonty and Bulldog still score long distance try's and Locksmith and SuperCoach still provide life encouragement to both opponent and ref. Oh and Kiwi still thinks the All Blacks can win the World Cup.

The corporation has welcomed a new member put forward by BBB. He comes with a strong background of speed and intent. I like that he has also brought with him a nickname, Scarry. Saves me having to run an online poll and having know one post their votes!!!

With 0 wins so far, no a forfeit does not count, some plaudits believe that the Mountain Men are running dead so as to improve their chances in the 2016 Draft. Me thinks too much US Sport is being watched. 

To date, whilst being a 2015 financial member, there had been no official sighting of Rookie/Claw/Leftie. 

But I have tracked him down. Here are a couple of pics I had sent to me by my US spies.


Held at the breathtaking Zion National Park in Utah, U.S., the event sees riders start 1000 feet up before essentially throwing themselves down a cliff.





The VC and Sponsor have also been sparing in their appearances due to ongoing soft tissue injuries or as I have liked to call it 'hurty leg syndrome'.

 The teams that the Mountain Men are playing are of a different world in many ways. I like the term hipster doofuses. Them with their full head of hair, full well groomed beards and tanned and shaped biceps from many hours in the gym and a few even with the cap on backwards.

 Well I say lay on them the daily grind of work and mortgage and the real pressures of life that includes looking for discount prices at those big liquor barns.

 They in their eclectic sunday sessions at trendy sun drenched outdoor bars can drink all the 'pure blond' low carb beer they like.....I am not jealous of that at all !!!

 We are Mountain Men and Dad bods we have. Well some of us....some of you guys are f---n fit after all that Trail running....maybe I should have kept it going. Oh well. 

 Yours in Writing under duress

 FMJ


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