As the the weather formed into a drizzly night up in the Hills of Terrey, the mountain men descended from the escarpment down onto the tundra like fields of the eastern shoreline last night for the latest round of Touch Football.
With teams re-gathering after a week off thanks to a two mile handicap horse race south of the border won by a German intruder, the legs were fresh and the arm muscles glistened in the lowering Spring sunset.
Well they were in the other teams anyway !!!
The call went out early in the morn of Monday to seek out those Touchers who were available to TOUCH. There was a resounding YES from all club members until they were advised that the notification was in regards to playing touch football.
With that confirmation the player numbers dropped faster than inhibitions on a steamy hot summers night.
Chairman OUT, Milt OUT, Jonty OUT, The Sponsor OUT but the biggest shock to the corporation was VC OUT.
The VC had been ordered to attend a function with strict instructions that his attendance was compulsory. More on that story later in the bulletin
The remaining players arrived on time and ready to play against the youngest team in the competition. At the last match up with this group, the Touchers overcame the adversity of their speed and agility by just sledging the crap out of the youthful contenders.
At this point I wish to confirm that I, FMJ, did not partake in such low class sportsmanship. When such matters arise, I prefer, on most occasions, to take the higher ground.
Last nights fixture was played in better spirits and the game started in a battle of too and fro, parry and thrust and at half time the score was locked up at 2-2. A try on the stroke of halftime brought the youngsters alongside the Touchers on the scoreboard.
At the half time break the speeches of how the second half should be played were positive and colourful. Kiwi suggested we put the stink on in the first scrum to intimidate the opposition. The calmest member of the playing group, BBB, quietly whispered in his ear stating that there were no scrums in this form of the game.
After Oranges, the Touchers chose another term of intimidation and scored 3 tries in the first 3 sets of play to put the game beyond the young bucks.
Bulldog benefited from some good lead up play from the team to bag 4 tries. The club record is jointly held by himself, Locksmith and the VC at 5 in one game.
The Locksmith had been off the grid in the last few weeks training would be savers of lives in the art of free falling from a moving helicopter. From all reports the training has been going well. But it was the after hours training that startled some of the cadets as the Locksmith had asked who would follow him on night time bore hunts....barehanded and shirtless.
Locksmith had called in on his satellite phone late Monday to stay he was up for the game and he played with all the skill that he could muster. Little tricks of the trade are coming into his game, like using the ref as a shield. It was like watching Ray Price ply his trade all over again.
Rookie arrived at the game with a self diagnosis of 'soft legs' after his 6 hour, 9 minute and 41 sec Highland Fling on the back of his trusty mountain bike last Sunday. As stated previously the Rookie is playing a more mid-field game this year and looking to become a distributor. With arms heavy after his bike sojourn he could be forgiven by some for not hitting the mark on some of his passes, but not by me.
After a massive off season in training, BBB is still searching for the next yard of pace. He seems to ignore his age and wants to take back the honour of the best Toucher on the pitch. This author sees BBB's true value in that he keeps the playing group on a tight leash when things get....lets say colourful. His calming words 'get out of it Kiwi/Supercoach' resonate across the playing field each week. He even gave this little black duck the look only a father can give when I pushed the pass on a quick tap. I won't be doing that again anytime soon
Kiwi is looking to be that 80 minute player that Kevin Tamati used to be for the NZ Rugby League side. The big man has modelled his game on the same brute force that the former Kiwi legend undertook in the 80's. However, the man from the long white cloud is being sent to read the rule book; SEE Rule 10 The Touch
1. General
See Rule 1.25 - Definitions. Players of both defending and attacking teams are to use the minimum force necessary to effect touches.
RULING - A penalty awarded to the non offending team and, as a minimum, a warning to the offending player.
http://touchfootball.com.au/fileadmin/user_upload/Download_Documents/7th_Edtn_Rule_Book.pdf
The Touchers look forward to seeing Kiwi understand these nuances of TOUCH footy
Supercoach seemed to enjoy himself when he provided an in game refereeing technique session to the man with the whistle. It was nice to see Supercoach at one point chat pleasantly to the official after a stoppage in play to inform him that some of his rulings could be improved. However, it seemed the referee wasn't clear on Supercoach's instructions as the Touchers Ethics committee co-chairman had to keep advising him throughout the entire game.
Back to the story of the VC. Yes he did arrive at the game with a sheepish grin.Turns out he snuck out the back window to escape a family dinner. I am sure he was in for a good strong lecture on his return. Because I reckon the kids would have foiled his plan and locked the window, leaving him trapped outside and being asked explain himself to the higher authorities.
The Chairman will be asked to front the integrity committee to show cause in regards to his non-attendance. Evidence will be tabled stating that he has been seen running and prepping for some mud pie contest being held this Saturday with his fellow Monday night Fight Club members, rather than lead his troops when they were in a depleted state
Jonty is said to be enjoying his time in the chamber, turns out you can get foxtel hooked up into those things now with a strong wireless connection....so he shouldn't be too lonely !!!
The Sponsor called in late to say he had a hurty footy after stepping on a dandelion patch. A show cause notice is bring drafted this afternoon.
Milt was unavailable due to his attendance at APEC this week in Beijing. He was last seen standing alongside our fearless leader when meeting with the bear wrestling vodka swilling leader of Russia.
He was heard to chant across the room "Stand aside my sluggo wearing leader, I have this comrade covered" as the table was set for a Beer Pong takedown.
The Touchers did get the win 7 to 3 but thanks only to the efforts of a core playing group and the speed of the VC and Bulldog and their supporting crew.
Unless attitude is improved in the coming weeks then a semi final spot maybe a river too far. ..........hang on wait a sec, its only a 4 team comp isn't it ?
With that confirmation, Carry on Touching....that is if you feel to turn up to the Tuesday night fixtures.
Yours looking for an icey cold beer on a steamy hot summers night
FMJ
With teams re-gathering after a week off thanks to a two mile handicap horse race south of the border won by a German intruder, the legs were fresh and the arm muscles glistened in the lowering Spring sunset.
Well they were in the other teams anyway !!!
The call went out early in the morn of Monday to seek out those Touchers who were available to TOUCH. There was a resounding YES from all club members until they were advised that the notification was in regards to playing touch football.
With that confirmation the player numbers dropped faster than inhibitions on a steamy hot summers night.
Chairman OUT, Milt OUT, Jonty OUT, The Sponsor OUT but the biggest shock to the corporation was VC OUT.
The VC had been ordered to attend a function with strict instructions that his attendance was compulsory. More on that story later in the bulletin
The remaining players arrived on time and ready to play against the youngest team in the competition. At the last match up with this group, the Touchers overcame the adversity of their speed and agility by just sledging the crap out of the youthful contenders.
At this point I wish to confirm that I, FMJ, did not partake in such low class sportsmanship. When such matters arise, I prefer, on most occasions, to take the higher ground.
Last nights fixture was played in better spirits and the game started in a battle of too and fro, parry and thrust and at half time the score was locked up at 2-2. A try on the stroke of halftime brought the youngsters alongside the Touchers on the scoreboard.
At the half time break the speeches of how the second half should be played were positive and colourful. Kiwi suggested we put the stink on in the first scrum to intimidate the opposition. The calmest member of the playing group, BBB, quietly whispered in his ear stating that there were no scrums in this form of the game.
After Oranges, the Touchers chose another term of intimidation and scored 3 tries in the first 3 sets of play to put the game beyond the young bucks.
Bulldog benefited from some good lead up play from the team to bag 4 tries. The club record is jointly held by himself, Locksmith and the VC at 5 in one game.
The Locksmith had been off the grid in the last few weeks training would be savers of lives in the art of free falling from a moving helicopter. From all reports the training has been going well. But it was the after hours training that startled some of the cadets as the Locksmith had asked who would follow him on night time bore hunts....barehanded and shirtless.
Locksmith had called in on his satellite phone late Monday to stay he was up for the game and he played with all the skill that he could muster. Little tricks of the trade are coming into his game, like using the ref as a shield. It was like watching Ray Price ply his trade all over again.
Rookie arrived at the game with a self diagnosis of 'soft legs' after his 6 hour, 9 minute and 41 sec Highland Fling on the back of his trusty mountain bike last Sunday. As stated previously the Rookie is playing a more mid-field game this year and looking to become a distributor. With arms heavy after his bike sojourn he could be forgiven by some for not hitting the mark on some of his passes, but not by me.
After a massive off season in training, BBB is still searching for the next yard of pace. He seems to ignore his age and wants to take back the honour of the best Toucher on the pitch. This author sees BBB's true value in that he keeps the playing group on a tight leash when things get....lets say colourful. His calming words 'get out of it Kiwi/Supercoach' resonate across the playing field each week. He even gave this little black duck the look only a father can give when I pushed the pass on a quick tap. I won't be doing that again anytime soon
Kiwi is looking to be that 80 minute player that Kevin Tamati used to be for the NZ Rugby League side. The big man has modelled his game on the same brute force that the former Kiwi legend undertook in the 80's. However, the man from the long white cloud is being sent to read the rule book; SEE Rule 10 The Touch
1. General
See Rule 1.25 - Definitions. Players of both defending and attacking teams are to use the minimum force necessary to effect touches.
RULING - A penalty awarded to the non offending team and, as a minimum, a warning to the offending player.
http://touchfootball.com.au/fileadmin/user_upload/Download_Documents/7th_Edtn_Rule_Book.pdf
The Touchers look forward to seeing Kiwi understand these nuances of TOUCH footy
Supercoach seemed to enjoy himself when he provided an in game refereeing technique session to the man with the whistle. It was nice to see Supercoach at one point chat pleasantly to the official after a stoppage in play to inform him that some of his rulings could be improved. However, it seemed the referee wasn't clear on Supercoach's instructions as the Touchers Ethics committee co-chairman had to keep advising him throughout the entire game.
Back to the story of the VC. Yes he did arrive at the game with a sheepish grin.Turns out he snuck out the back window to escape a family dinner. I am sure he was in for a good strong lecture on his return. Because I reckon the kids would have foiled his plan and locked the window, leaving him trapped outside and being asked explain himself to the higher authorities.
The Chairman will be asked to front the integrity committee to show cause in regards to his non-attendance. Evidence will be tabled stating that he has been seen running and prepping for some mud pie contest being held this Saturday with his fellow Monday night Fight Club members, rather than lead his troops when they were in a depleted state
Jonty is said to be enjoying his time in the chamber, turns out you can get foxtel hooked up into those things now with a strong wireless connection....so he shouldn't be too lonely !!!
The Sponsor called in late to say he had a hurty footy after stepping on a dandelion patch. A show cause notice is bring drafted this afternoon.
Milt was unavailable due to his attendance at APEC this week in Beijing. He was last seen standing alongside our fearless leader when meeting with the bear wrestling vodka swilling leader of Russia.
He was heard to chant across the room "Stand aside my sluggo wearing leader, I have this comrade covered" as the table was set for a Beer Pong takedown.
The Touchers did get the win 7 to 3 but thanks only to the efforts of a core playing group and the speed of the VC and Bulldog and their supporting crew.
Unless attitude is improved in the coming weeks then a semi final spot maybe a river too far. ..........hang on wait a sec, its only a 4 team comp isn't it ?
With that confirmation, Carry on Touching....that is if you feel to turn up to the Tuesday night fixtures.
Yours looking for an icey cold beer on a steamy hot summers night
FMJ
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