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Into the Grand Final for Touchers

Toucher's win 7-5

The Toucher's have always enjoyed Finals series games and last night was no different.

The Toucher's were the Minor Premiers which had them matched with the team placed 4th in a sudden death play off for the Grand Final. Despite beating the same team, in name only, last week 10-1, the Minor Premiers knew it would not be an easy 40 minutes of Touching.

Their opponents went to the well looking for talent and youth. They found both and fielded a very different team last night. 

With the VC out with educational duties and the Locksmith practicing to save the lives of many, the Toucher's topped up their ranks with the return of B1 [Chopsy] and the Bulldog. 

B2 missed his return flight from Sochi where he was competing in the Giant Slalom. Gees he looked good in that lycra on Channel 10 !!!!

Milt called in to advise he was stuck in transit. Something to do with an open bar at the Hilton in Hong Kong. Well you can't say he ain't committed to the task.

With a large collection of the playing group involved Big Ballo's Bootcamp (c) [Trademark] on Monday night, there were sore legs and arms and fingers and elbows and toes etc etc etc. The Chairman accepted his breach notice with great delight. "I am just happy to be giving something back to the community of old unfit blokes" he was quoted by his press officer to have said.

To the field they went and the Toucher's ripped in two quick try's to put the opponents, young and old, male and female on their back flat footed feet. 

There were some lucky last minute Toucher's by some of the less speedy/flexible in the OT playing group on the young feller's. But a touch on skin my friends is a touch on skin !!!

Its the vigor in which some of us yell TOUCH that may be sign that there is something missing in their lives. 

The game was tight, the ref was [content removed by authority of the corporation in the best interests of the Overtouchers Group Pty Ltd]. But despite that the Toucher's lifted another cog.

The playing group went into oranges in the lead at 5-2 and the talk was positive. It was very refreshing that the stats on the dummy half getting touched with the ball were the lowest in the 2013/2014 season. Post game we analysed this information in the attempt to find out why. We just couldn't put a finger on it. It will be referred to the 'Caught at Dummy half commission' Chaired by the VC. I don't expect their to be official findings anytime soon.

Across the park I felt that it was the best game of the season. Seriously. Against a good team with quicker players in some of them, the Mountain Men did not panic at anytime and from the sidelines they looked great with and without the pill. 

With that the Toucher's go into the Grand Final game next Tuesday.

BBB was at his best and as I wrote last week he is building to something. I can't wait to watch it happen.

The Rookie had his best game in his Toucher's career. Finally that 1000kms a week on the bike is working and his pre-season near death experience is well behind him. Also it appears that the defensive coaching from HOF has finally washed off him like a warm toffee.

B1 was strong from start to finish. Well if you mean the start is when he chooses to arrive at the ground then it was start to finish. Milt can we borrow you helicopter to ensure he is on time next week?

Supercoach thrives on a challenge. So a team with young bucks and ref who [content removed by authority of the corporation in the best interests of the Overtouchers Group Pty Ltd], the big man continued on with the career best form.

Jonty too likes a challenge. I like the way in which he inflicts pain on his opponents. Its just a quiet word in their ear and they reel away after receiving career advice from the flying winger. When asked what he said the response is a blank stare like the dead eyes of a shark.

The story of how Bulldog arrived at the game will be spoken in tales for years to come. When the VC pulled out of the game he called on our youngest Toucher to fill a whole. Bulldog replied "man i don't have any wheels"

The story goes a little like this [backing music the superman movie theme].

The VC strode from his front door, tore the shirt of his back and lept into his 2.0 litre hybrid Camry. With the windows down, his hair flowing in the wind, he drove like Aryton Senna to the Bulldogs house in St Ives to give him his car.

With a 4 wheel lock up, he had turned off traction control, he slid into Bulldogs driveway. He jumped from the car in Dukes of Hazard style and ordered Bulldog to drive. 
"I'll drop you home on the way VC"
"Mate I am good, I am jogging back barefoot in my sluggos...that's how I ride".

Not wanting to declare my Players players award points now that the allocations have gone behind closed doors, my best on park was the Chairman. With a brace of tries and feet like wings, the big man loved the game with all the passion of a kid loving a chocolate paddle pop on a hot day at the beach.

On a personal note I will advise the team doctors that they have approval to operate on my hurty thumb. With 6 days and 40 minutes I will need every second to repair the damage inflicted by the turf of battle on my [latin] dexter pollex.

Early reports are that the damage rating is somewhere between 'big sook' and 'broken away from his hand'. Only time in Jonty's hyperbaric chamber will fix the issue. I hope it has an open bar.

So next week is the 4th Grand Final in 4 years for the Toucher's. An achievement in itself.

It has been tweeted that maybe it could be a good thing that FMJ maybe out of the game. I think thats referring to my anger management issues in big games that haven't been resolved. It could be due to the advice I have absorbed from Supercoach and the Locksmith.

Yours in pain and looking for sympathy

FMJ

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